Statue Man Saves His Brother


Dan Drinker walks alone down the hall like he owns the place.
Mrs. Overcash spots him.

Mrs. O: Daniel, where are you going all by yourself?
Dan: Bathroom.
Mrs. O: Does your aide know that?
Dan: Yes, Overcash.

Dan continues down the hall.


Will sits on the toilet in the furthest stall from the door.
Tommy and Bobby enter and use the urinels.
Tommy looks under the stall and sees Will’s feet.

Tommy: Carpo is that you? Taking a dump at school again?!
Bobby: Don’t have a john at home, Carpo?

The boys begin wetting toilet paper in the sink and launching it into Will’s stall.
Will ducks as the wads stick to the wall of the stall.

Bobby: Don’t you know how dirty these bathrooms are?
Tommy: Yeah, gross! You’d be better off shitting yourself again.

Dan enters the bathroom.

Dan: Bad word.
Tommy: Dan the man!
Dan: You say bad word.
Tommy: I know, I know. I’m sorry, Dan. How about this… you don’t tell on me for cursing and I won’t tell on you for this.

Tommy places a wad of toilet paper in each of Dan’s hands.
Bobby points under the stall.
Dan bends down and looks beneath the stall.
Will is already bent down staring back and Dan with his finger to his mouth “Shhh”
Dan puts his finger to his mouth and smiles.

Tommy: Come on, Dan!
Bobby: Yeah, do it! Teach him a lesson for not being able to hold it!

Dan throws the first wad at Tommy and the second at Bobby.

Tommy: What are you doing you retard? I said throw it at Levi!
Bobby: I’m going to tell your teacher.

Dan grabs more wads from the sink and continues his assault on the boys.

Tommy: Stop, Dan!
Bobby: Alright, you asked for it…

The toilet flushes and Will appears from the stall.

Will: If you lay one finger on him I’ll make sure you don’t play football til summer camp.
Bobby: Drinker? Dude, we thought you were Levi Carpo.
Will: Well, I’m not.
Bobby: I know you have stomach problems. We really thought you were Levi.
Will: And what if I was Levi?
Tommy: Lets get out of here. They’re nothing but freaks, anyway.

Tommy and Bobby exit.

Dan: He say bad word.
Will: I know. You know throwing is bad, too?
Dan: Yes, but you my brother.
Will: Thanks, dude. Come on, I’ll walk you back to class.
Dan: I gotta pee.
Will: Oh. Right.

Are YOU an artist? If you'd like to contribute to The Adventures of Statue Man just send us an e-mail. Maybe you know Dan and have the perfect story to share. Maybe you don't know Dan but want to express your creativity and illustrate a scene I've already written. Let's get to work, people! Daniel Drinker is no longer limited to a single medium!


SunflowerStories said...

So did he get in trouble for flinging tp? I love how he sticks up for you.

MammaMayMiller said...

Love this!!!